Simple Desires: The Beginning
by Aisumi of the SilentRain
Summary: Set many years before the beginning of the anime. This story revolves around a girl Rinaiko Amane OC who must deal with the many highs and lows of her life along with her own self-denial. ToushiroXOC Amane To all my former readers,It's finally reposted
1. Chapter 1

Simple Desire: The Beginning (Hitsugaya Toushiro)

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Bleach is owned by the genius, Tite Kubo. i only own Amane and my parts of the story and plot.

* * *

I came from the 80th district of West Rukongai. You may know it as the absolute worst district in all of Soul Society. In reality, well it was and is just that.

How my family had gotten there, was something that had greatly puzzled the authorities in Soul Society. My parents were good people. They believed in justice, happiness, and obedience to the rulers of Soul Society.

Even though the shinigami had messed up our placement in Soul Society, my parents never resented that shinigami or Soul Society. Naturally, since they believed that, they enforced it upon us as well. By us, I mean my aniki**[1]** and I. Unfortunately, not bearing a grudge against Soul Society did not improve our situation. In fact, not long after we had entered the soul world, they were murdered. The ruffians of the 80th district were too violent for my peace loving parents to handle.

Though most would usually gasp in shock, I can only look back and see that it wasn't such a big surprise. After all, we lived in the district inhabited almost entirely by villains and criminals. Homicides, suicides, and massacres were common occurrences in the place I called home in my early years. My parent's death occurred when I was about 3. I had died young. I was especially young by Soul Society's standards, considering how slowly souls age. With no guidance, my brother, Rinaiko Hindomo, raised me on his own even though he was only a mere 5 years older than me. He too was just a child, but he knew more about the world than I did and proclaimed it his duty to protect me from its cruelties as well.

* * *

I was definitely much better off than most of the other inhabitants of district 80. I had my aniki who loved and cared for me while they just seemed to wait for their death in the dark dense woods. My aniki was a light shinning brighter than the sun in my life. He was witty, cheerful, and carefree, but he was also protective and fierce when it came to defending our freedom and safety. He never backed down and was always so full of courage… in the heat of battle at least. He always joked around and did things to try and get me to smile when I felt down. The only complaint that he would openly voice about our district was that there was too much death and unhappiness floating around which led to my unhappiness, therefore he would always find a way to make me smiles and make me hit him for saying embarrassing and stupid stuff like, "your smile brightens my day". However, even though he was a doofus and would saying stupid things, I always ended up laughing and smiling for him because the smile that he never failed to return would always warm my heart and make me feel like the luckiest girl alive for having such a wonderful brother.

I loved my aniki so very much. He meant everything to me. He took care of me and protected me through the hardest of times. He could have easily abandoned me and gone to live a possibly prosperous life somewhere else as many older siblings had. But he didn't, he stayed with me through thick and thin. He was a hard worker with great dreams. He was honest like he said our parents were.

Luckily but slowly, through the many many years we spent in that district, we were able to obtain an education. Aniki wished he could have been a scholar when he was still amongst the living. Sadly, there are no scholars in Soul Society. In order to get me to study too, he would pull out granny phrases and say something along the lines of "when he was in the other world, he never liked studying and always brushed it off. However, he now regretted those decisions". And though he spoke in a ridiculous fashion, he was perfectly serious and therefore taught me to think everything through thoroughly and cherish everything I had.

And I did.

Though we owned virtually nothing, I had my aniki and I cherished him. He meant everything to me. We both worked hard in learning everything we could get thoroughly.

* * *

I began feeling strange pains in my gut around the time I began to resemble a 9 year old. I don't know how old I was exactly considering souls in Soul Society never usually keep track of their age.

"Are you okay?" Aniki would ask worriedly every time I cringed.

"It's okay, I just must have gotten more hurt than I thought when I fell," I would say.

One day about a month after the pain started, I began to feel increasingly dizzy as the pain ate away at me. Was I ill? I hadn't had a fever or thrown up. In fact, all I felt during the past month was that I had little to no energy and always felt pain. That day though, my power to control the pain broke and I fainted in the middle of our makeshift home.

When I woke up, I saw my aniki before me.

"Aniki?" I asked confused at why he had gotten home from work so soon.

"How are you feeling, Amane?" he asked.

I attempted to sit up on my bed of hay but failed and fell back down exhausted of energy. I couldn't speak. I rubbed my very chapped lips against each other, my voice failed. I only managed to shake my head.

"I see, you too, huh?" he said.

I cocked my head slightly in question.

"I'm sorry for not noticing it earlier," he said leaving my side to walk 8 steps to the stove and ladle soup into a bowl.

"Aniki," I said, finally finding the strength to speak. "What are you talking about? Stop talking in riddles, it's confusing me."

He held said nothing but held the soup before me, but I shook my head again. "Aniki, it hurts. I don't want to eat. I don't _need_ to eat."

"Please listen to me, Amane, and drink the soup. I promise to answer all of your questions later," he said with a gentle smile.

I hesitated.

It was _very_ hard to refuse my brother when he gave that pure and honest smile.

I was never a person for food, but on second thought. I stopped and breathed in gently through my nose. It _did _smell strangely enticing. I took a smile sip at first and couldn't hold myself back from taking more. "Since when did your cooking get to be this good?" I asked between gulps of soup. He laughed slightly then prepared and ate some himself.

After I was full, I fell back down on my bed. "How does your stomach feel now?" he asked. "Stomach?" I asked confused. It was just then that I noticed how my gut no longer ached.

"I feel great, like nothing's ever happened," I admitted.

"That's good, now you can ask your questions," he said. Immediately I began.

"Aniki, what's a stomach?" I asked.

"It's where food goes when you eat it," he said as he explained the whole digestive process to me.

"Aniki? What was the pain I felt?" I asked.

"I'm sure you've heard of it." He said ruffling my hair "It's called hunger,"

"Hunger? You meant that thing that happens to live humans? But that doesn't exist in Soul Society."

"You're correct Amane but that only applies to regular souls. If a soul, like yours, continuously uses up spirit energy, then they need to eat in order to maintain their strength," he said.

"Do you feel hungry too, aniki? Is that why you've been eating like a horse for a long time" I asked with 9 year old innocence.

"That's mean, Amane, comparing your, _lovely _aniki to a horse," he joked pulling at my cheek. I stuck my tongue out at him. When he finally let go of my cheek, he answered.  
"Yes, mine start a few years ago and I was confused too, when it happened. There's nothing to worry about."

"So I was right, that _is _why you eat so much," I mumbled with a sweat drop. "Aniki don't souls who have special spirit energy become shinigamis?" I asked.

"Yep! I see you've been keeping up with your studies," he doted.

"Idiot, it's common knowledge," I said jabbing my finger at him.

"So, why haven't you applied to shinigami academy yet? It's probably your only way out of this place," I said waving my hand around the rundown shack before noticing what I said.

"I thought about that too, but then decided not to since I would be leaving you behind," he said seriously.

"You don't mean… you gave it up for me?" I asked.

"Yep, at least until your spirit energy started appearing. I was sure it would be there. I didn't expect it to be this soon though," he said.

"Idiot! What if it had never shown?! Would you have just stayed here all your life?!" I shouted.

"I had faith in you Amane. You're a very talented person. I don't think it's possible for you to not have it." He said.

I quieted down.

"Aniki, now that I have it. Can we leave this place? Let's apply for shinigami academy. It's the only way for either of us to get better," I said.

He nodded.

"You do understand the prejudices that we'll be faced with since we're coming from the 80th district right?" he asked.

I nodded. How could I not know?

"We'll have to deal with it. It's not like we're bad people. We're just going to have show them that we can be better than some snot nosed aristocrats," I said in all seriousness, even so my aniki burst out laughing.

I sighed.

"Aniki, sometimes you _always_ seem to act more childishly than I do." I stated shaking my head but couldn't help but smile _just _a little.

* * *

"I can't believe they actually accepted us or at least me," I muttered to my aniki.

"Why not? As you said we _are_ good people and at least I know you practiced a lot," aniki replied while we walked together to our classes. I had somehow managed to enter the academy although I was so young. "Oh, and by the way," he fidgeted.

"What?" I asked.

"Ah well, I'm in the class that's 2 levels above yours," he said with a lopsided grin. I stopped in my tracks, first to gaze at him in shock and then to glare at him hatefully.

"_'Oh, and by the _way'?" I mimicked in an evil tone. "You cheap idiot! You couldn't have told me earlier now could you?! How could you leave me alone!?" I demanded jumping on his back.

"Practice," he chocked out as I strangled him with all of my strength.

*GONG**GONG*

As the bell rang, I was forced to release him.

"Meany, I'll get you later," I mumbled just loud enough for him to hear.

"Later! Have a good day!" he said cheerily, as usual.

"Of course, he has no trouble making friends or learning things," I thought straightening my hair and walking into my classroom. I was slightly tired from staying up all night and studying. I didn't want to be seen as a complete rookie. So I had gone through 2 giant textbooks to memorize all of the kido(demonic magic) attacks there were. Then I had to go back and learn how to control my energy so that I could learn at least one. All the while my aniki was out greeting people dorm neighbors.

How's that for proving that I'm not completely inexperienced?

…

I think I may have over done it a little though.

'Yeah, just a bit,' I thought as I twisted my arm and pain shot through it. 'Stupid arm, that was only one night of work too,' I whined mentally as I sat down ready to start class at any point and time.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Translations

**[1] **Aniki: elder brother

I will almost always use aniki in place of big brother so learn what it means.

* * *

Finally! I have gotten around to reposting part of this. I'm also beta-ing it along the way so be aware of changes. Hopefully, it'll flow smoother now. I'm sorry!

-Aisumi


	2. Chapter 2

Simple Desires: The Beginning (Hitsugaya Toushiro)

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, but I do own Rinaiko Amane, her brother, and all characters and plots that I create

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_"Did you hear? She's from the 80__th__ district of East Rukongai. I can't believe they actually admitted her. She probably could've done what Zaraki Kenpachi did and just killed another taichou for their position,"_ the girls gossiped. I pulled out a textbook and began reading it, attempting futily to block out their annoying jabbering. 'What to do, I could just yell at them, or I could practice my kido on them. But then I could get in trouble,' I thought trying to be practical. 'I better just keep quiet as to not start a fight,' I thought reading more about the kidos that I should begin to learn. Pretty soon, I was completely engrossed in the book that I didn't notice someone walk up to me.

"Hey," the guy said. Internally, I jumped but I remained calm outside. "Oh hi," I said looking at the person. He had white hair and sea blue eyes he wore a serious expression. 'It's funny how it's kind of like mine,' I thought as I hadn't smiled once since entering the classroom.

"They're talking about you," he said flatly. 'Wow he talks like me too,' I thought internally amazed as I kept a serious face on the outside.

"Yeah, I know," I said nonchalantly. 'Should I go back to reading? Or should I listen to him talk? But I just got to the incantation of number 12. But then again, it would be rude to ignore him or look away while he's talking,' I thought. I suddenly felt stupid. I suddenly wished that my aniki had given me more lessons in how to behave around higher class people.

"Why don't you do anything about it?" he asked sitting down in the desk next to mine. I shrugged.

"I figured that if it doesn't bother anyone, then I don't really need to worry about it," I said shrugging. I think I saw some surprise in his eyes. 'He's too proud to show his emotions often,' I thought analyzing his demeanor.

"Are you sure it's that? Or maybe you don't want to start a fight or can't handle them," he asked with probably more coldness than intended. It wasn't like it affected me though considering that I was a master of the cold.

"Bingo," I said nonchalantly while I decided to return to my book. "You're correct about the fact that I don't want to start a fight, but you're forgetting where I'm from. I may not want to start a fight but I'm sure I could handle them," I said lying about the implication that could be derived from 'you're forgetting where I'm from' part.

"You're lying again," he said. 'Jeez, do you have to notice?' I thought while mentally rolling my eyes.

"Bingo again," I said boredly as I propped my head up on my head as I read the book.

"The implication that is coming from your words are false aren't they?" he asked with a hint of accomplishment in his body posture. (Funny how analytical I am isn't it?) "You've never actually killed anything other than bugs or plants have you?" he asked.

"Yep," I said half-heartedly as I turned amused at how well he could read me.

"How'd you survive in that district if you've never actually killed anything other than bugs and non living objects?" he asked.

"I asked my aniki to do it," I responded boredly while turning the page in my book. I heard a crash so I lazily shifted my eyes over to the boy who had happened to fall out of his chair. 'Surprised him there,' I thought amused letting it only hint itself upon the corners of my lips. "What an interesting posture," I teased lightly. He got back up and glared slightly. I just smiled slightly as I was ready to burst out laughing inside.

Five minutes later, the sensei still had not arrived. I stared boredly out of the window. Neither the boy nor I had spoken a word since the incident 5 minutes ago. 'That reminds me, I haven't even asked his name,' I thought. 'It probably doesn't matter though since he's probably another one of those people who'll run of later when the fact that I came from a district of extreme criminals finally hits them. It seemed that both he and I weren't very big social animals in the class. It didn't bother me considering I had a book but on the other hand he seemed to get irritated at having nothing to do. 'Workaholic,' I thought amused. 'Typical, hey wait! That's me too,' I thought irritated at how much my thoughts were contradicting themselves. I took out another book and threw it at him without looking at his head. Somehow, I guess it was intuition (or maybe it was his reiatsu level ^.^ Reader: -_-') I knew that he would catch it. Low and behold…!

--

He missed!

*THWACK!* was the resounding smack as the book collided with his head.

I blinked surprised for a moment before laughing the slightest bit. "There goes my intuition."

"Baka! What was that for?!" he demanded angrily as he got up book in hand and bump on head.

"I apologize, I was sure that you would catch it," I answered not looking up from my book while I fought from shaking in laughter.

"Baka! How am I supposed to catch something if you throw it half-heartedly like that?!" he demanded. I shrugged trying to seem bored.

"I don't know intuition," I muttered provoking him even more. 'This is really fun,' I thought.

"Be serious!" he yelled pointing at me.

"You really shouldn't do that, it makes you look like an idiot," I muttered slightly irritated at the attention attracted. He quickly sat back down and regained his composure. "I thought your reiatsu reflected your skill level so I assumed that you would catch it," I said more serious. He was quieter and I could tell the gears were processing in his head.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed. Message me!

-Aisumi


	3. Chapter 3

Simple Desire: The Beginning (Hitsugaya Toushiro)

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Bleach is owned by the genius, Tite Kubo. i only own Amane and my parts of the story and plot.

* * *

"You're trying to figure out what kind of person I am in your mind aren't you by the various things I do, aren't you?" I stated boredly. "Aren't you doing the same?" he retorted slightly annoyed about what I had still to discover. "I threw the book at you assuming that you would catch it because you seemed bored," I said plainly not letting my eyes leave my book. I could feel his slight confusion. "Oh, thanks, I guess," he muttered quietly while opening the book. 'Proud idiot,' I thought amused by his actions. Even in this silent air, we were studying each other.

Soon we both became completely possessed by the books contents. However, I noticed him getting irritated at the loud gossiping about me by the other students. 'Time to work my powerful magic,' I thought slyly.

"Oi, people in the corner over there," I called coldly. They all turned to me. "If you're going to gossip about people then, do it where the others can't hear you. You're bothering those that are trying to read," I stated flatly my eyes never leaving the page though it wasn't like I was reading. "Y-y-you there! District 80 scum. D-don't think that y-you know everything just because y-you've killed a few more people than we have. D-don't tell us what to do! W-were not going to listen to you!" a girl stuttered trying to conceal her apparent fear. Slowly, my eyes shifted to her and held a harsh and cold stare. "EEEK!!" they screamed out as they ran off bumping into the sensei that was running in.

"Welcome class," the female sensei exclaimed breathlessly. "Sorry for being late but I got stuck in a meeting!" she said. "Now off to sword training first," she said with an excited tone. 'She's enthusiastic,' I mumbled as everyone walked out off the classroom.

I listened attentively as she taught the class the proper technique in holding a sword. Despite her disheveled appearance, she was not nearly as bad at sword work as she looked.

"Okay class, begin to practice on your own. I know that it's your first day, so just take it easy and practice everything I've taught you." She said. I felt tension as the people around me began moving away from me. I frowned and sighed. They would probably never get to know the real me. But perhaps that was my fault for pretending to be who I was not.

As I thought this, I swung my sword down hard and with every unhappy thought, my swings grew stronger.

"Oi, try not to show off too much," the white-haired boy from earlier said in a teasing tone.

I'm not-!" I spit out instinctively before realizing that I was not keeping up my defensive front. I stopped and recomposed myself.

I scoffed.

"Why? Afraid that I'll over shadow you?" I teased back.

A tick mark grew on his forehead. "I definitely would not lose to you." He said facing me with his sword facing me directly.

"Ha? Here? But the teacher-?" I only then realized that everyone had moved away from us and we had a fairly open space to practice. I had heard that others had been afraid of the white-haired boy as well.

"The teacher's not going to notice. Not as long as she's teaching those idiots." He said motioning over his shoulder with his head.

My eyes widened at that and couldn't help but cover my mouth with my hand as I tried to hide a laugh. "Fine, if it's only a little sparing." I said turning to face him as well.

"Match ends when one surrenders or one is immobilized," he said.

"Sure thing, 1, 2, 3, Go!"

I almost stepped back as he charged at me with surprising speed. I just barely managed to meet his sword to guard against an attack.

"Ready to give up?" he asked while pushing harder against the sword.

I put all my strength into my legs. "Not yet!" I pushed him back.

It went on pretty much like that for a while until I finally realized as I'm sure he realized.

We were about equal.

Well, his slices were just slightly a bit sharper than mine and his jabs just a tad bit more accurate.

I knew that if I were to win, I'd have to use tact. I pushed his sword away once again before jumping back.

"Bakudo no ichi: Sai"

His eyes widened as he just barely dodged it and instead it bound itself to the ground where he was standing.

I smiled, it was easy for me.

I had, after all, practiced on my aniki several times, much to his chagrin.

There was a simultaneous and annoying gasp from the group that reminded both the white-haired boy and I that we were not alone.

"What is going on here!"

Shit

"Rinaiko-san, Hitsugaya-san, were you two sparing just now?" she said with a frighteningly intense air.

"I… um… he…" I stuttered out.

"How wonderful to use basic skills in practical application!" she squealed with delight. Both the white haired boy and I looked at her questioningly. "As a reward for doing well, you two may take the rest of the day off while I work with the other kids." She said. She offered little other explanation before running off.

People stared at me. "Take a picture, it'll last longer," I muttered putting away the sword and leaving the building. I sat in the shade of a tree in the fields outside of the building. 'Why does it have to be so hot,' I thought irritated. I soon felt another presence sit itself down beside me. "I was wondering who it was they called the boy genius, I didn't know that it would be you." I said simply.

"You did the same thing that I did," he said. "Oh don't get upset just because I did just as well as you Shiro-chan," I teased. He scowled. "I have a name you know," he said sitting down as well. "Since I don't know your name then what else am I supposed to call you other than Shiro-chan." I said with a teasing smile which was returned by an almost frightening glare.

Key word: Almost.

I was unfazed but got his point.

"Fine sheesh, but then again if you really want me to stop, you'll have to tell me your name," I said. "My name is Hitsugaya Toshiro." He said. "See, that wasn't that hard. My name is Amane, Rinaiko Amane," I said. "It's nice to meet you, Hitsugaya-san," I said with a friendly smile.

"I'm confused," he stated after a moment. "What?" I asked. "You're not a criminal, nor a thief. I've seen your aniki and he isn't one either, why?" he asked. "I don't know, our parents always taught us to follow the rules and do good," I said. "It seems that your whole family is a good one, so how did you end up in district 80?" he asked. "That I do not know," I said sighing. "They originally held everyone in reserve until the rest of our family died before placing us in a certain district so we could be together," I said. "Isn't that I good thing?" he asked. "Supposedly I guess," I said. "Then, it's probably just a mistake that the shinigami that sent you guys here made," he said. "That's what aniki and I figured, a pretty big one too," I said. "How?" he asked.

"You're full of questions aren't you?" I asked looking at him. That shut him up. "But I guess it's alright to answer," I said only teasing him. "Rinaiko-san, you really are confusing," he muttered. "One, I don't like to be called by my last name and two, you can drop the suffix. Just call me Amane," I said. "Is Amane-chan alright?" he asked. "Do as you will, but... my parents were murdered and my aniki raised me on his own," I said. "What?!" he asked surprised. "What surprised? Don't believe it? Ask my aniki. We've been living alone together ever since I was very young," I said. "How much older than you is he?" Hitsugaya-kun asked. "Only 5 human years older, it's not much in Soul Society, but you already knew that," I said.

"Hitsugaya-kun? What about you? Where did you live? How did you grow up? Did you have friends while growing up? Sorry if this is too much to ask," I said placing my hand behind my head while staring at the clouds. "I've just never been able to talk that much to other people. Aniki was always the one that was more social," I said. "It's alright. I grew up with an old woman and another girl in Junrinan, district one. I guess I could have made friends with other people but I always pushed them away. My closest friend would probably be Hinamori Momo since I grew up with her. She's in your brother's class, I think." He said. "So she's older?" I asked. "Yeah, she's like a sister," he replied as he stared at the sky lazily.

* * *

Bleh, major edit here. I thought the original was stupid but perhaps this is stupider. Who knows? What do you think? How should I fix it. I think I originally wrote this when I was still having trouble with Amane's character.

--Aisumi


	4. Chapter 4

Simple Desires: The Beginning (Hitsugaya Toushiro)

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, but I do own Amane and her plot and story.

* * *

4 years later,

"Congratulations Toushiro-kun. You graduated too," I said. "Thank you and congratulations to you too, Aname," he said rather monotonely trying to keep an indifferent face but I knew well enough that he really meant it. Both of us finished the 6 year shinigami academy in 4 years which was a pretty big accomplishment since we also entered earlier than most people. Toshiro is undoubtedly my best friend if not more. Over the years, Toshiro has become less of a brat and more responsible for his actions. I've also begun to respect him as well, although we were evenly matched.

…

"Oi, come on Shiro-chan!" I shouted running ahead to find my aniki.

…

Okay, fine I admit.

I do respect him a lot, ibut/i not enough to throw away that wonderful nickname. I laughed as he chased after me.

"Oi Aniki!" I called to get his attention the moment I saw him.

"Oh Amane, I can't believe it. You actually graduated with me," he said hugging me with a giant smile.

"I know isn't it exciting?" I asked.

"I know, only an event this big could make you grin like the Cheshire cat," he stated with a loopy grin. My jaw dropped in disbelief.

"Aniki! I'll soo get you for that!" I yelled punching his arm.

"Congrats, Hitsugaya-kun," Aniki said ignoring me.

"Congrats Amane-chan, Hitsugaya-kun," Hinamori said.

"Thank you, Hinamori-san," I said giving her a hug. Hinamori and I have become really close as well in the years past.

"Whatever," Toushiro grumbled slightly embarrassed. I elbowed him in the ribs, causing him to grab his sides.

"Be polite, Toushiro-kun." I gritted out so it didn't look like I was talking.

"Arigatou," he muttered quietly. Everybody laughed and I failed at holding back a slight giggle which gave him a huge tick mark on the back of his head.

"Oh lighten up. You're to young to run around with a stick up your a- Itai!," I shouted as aniki hit me on the head. "What was that for?!" I whined.

"Watch your language young one," aniki said waving his finger around. I glared slightly then hit him in the head to before running off and stealing Hyorinmaru.

"Still you need to lighten up," I ran behind the rest of the graduates (Hinamori, Aniki, Kira, and Abarai) with it.

"Hey! Give me back Hyorinmaru!" Toushiro yelled chasing after me in circles.

"Fine! Fine! Here I'll give it back to you. I wasn't going to hurt him," I stated defensively when he had chased me towards a river.

"That's not funny Amane," he said.

"Oh, stop walking around with a stick up your-AH!" I yelled as water engulfed me. I swam to the surface of the river to see Toushiro snickering. "Toushiro! That was mean! You're lucky the shihakushou isn't white like our school uniforms," I yelled as he was chocking with laughter. I barely managed to climb out of the water without slipping 10 times.

I slipped 9 times.

Yes, aren't I graceful?

The whole while, Toushiro was laughing his head off. "Toushiro! I'm so going to get you for this!" I yelled wringing out my long black ponytail. While he laughed, I walked behind him and pushed him in to the river.

"Hey!" he shouted as his white hair clung to his face. "

"There you are Amane. Wait why are you all wet? The graduation ceremony and division assignments are in 20 minutes you know?" Aniki said.

"HOLY CRAP!" we yelled.

"We're going to be late, it's all iyour/i fault Amane," he accused. We were used to pushing the blame on each other.

"Me?! Why didn't you think of that before you pushed me in?!" I yelled as we ran off towards our apartments. I took a 2 minute shower and dressed in a new shihakusho.

"Hurry up! Amane!" he yelled from outside my door.

"I'm hurrying!" I yelled brushing out my hair. I quickly ran to the door while pulling on my sash as he continued to pound on my door. "Jeez, let's go," I said tying Hatsuyuki to my kentai (sword belt) while running along with him.

"We're going to be late!" I yelled considering we had only 5 minutes left.

"No, we're not!" he yelled back. Suddenly, his speed dropped.

"Toushiro-kun are you alri-" I was cut off when I felt a tug at my kentai. When I looked Toushiro was already ahead of me.

"Don't slow down Amane!" he yelled back while holding Hatsuyuki in the air as if she were a flag. He had a toothy grin plastered on his face one that I had rarely seen elsewhere.

"Hey! Give me back Hatsuyuki! I just finished tying her to my kentia!" I yelled increasing my speed.

"It's what you did to Hyorinmaru! I think I have the right!" he yelled back provoking me to chase him.

"Not after you pushed me into the river!" I yelled back as he continued to press forward faster.

"Nyah! Can't catch me!" he yelled sticking his tongue out. "Toshiro! I'm so going to get you after this!" I yelled getting angry.

"Uh oh!" he said knowing that he had made me mad.

"You better run if you don't want to die yet!" I yelled at him, and that's what he did. He concentrated all his energy on running while still using Hatsuyuki as a hostage. We amazingly arrived at the ceremony grounds with a minute to spare. "Wow! You two are actually here!" Aniki teased.

"Shut up!" I barked as I was jumping to try and get Hatsuyuki back.

Toshiro stood triumphantly holding Hatsuyuki just out of my reach. "You meany! Give her back! Stop picking on my shortness!" I yelled pulling on his sleeve while jumping. "Nyah! Chibisuke!" he teased. Suddenly, Hatsuyuki was plucked from his hand and given to me. "You're both too short," Abarai teased in which he received cold glares from both of us despite the favor he did for me. The ringing of the gong resounded in our ears. "Let's go," Aniki said and we followed him.

Aniki, Toshiro, and I were all assigned to the first division under Yamamoto taichou. "What a relief that we're together," Aniki said after the ceremony. "Division 1! Your training starts immediately," the vice-captain of division 1 barked.

"Wow, this'll be really hard." Aniki said rubbing the back of his head. "I hope you're read- Oi! Wait for me!" Aniki yelled as we ditched him in the back of the crowd. "Sometimes I don't see how we're related," I mumbled shaking my head. "Sometimes I can't tell either," Toshiro added.


	5. Chapter 5

Simple Desire: The Beginning (Hitsugaya Toushiro)

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Bleach is owned by the genius, Tite Kubo. i only own Amane and my parts of the story and plot.

* * *

For 5 months since entering the first division we mostly just trained like we did in the shinigami academy except slightly more intense. We have never been able to formally train under Yamamoto sotaichou-sama since he was always busy with his duty as, well sotaichou (head captain). Sasakibe Fukutaichou wasn't nearly as strong or skilled as Yamamoto Sotaichou-sama, but he did teach us a lot of things. But in the end... well... let's just say that he didn't like me very much. He made it his job to torture me because I came out of the 80th district and was the youngest in the squad. Can you believe it? That damn Toushiro is older than me by 7 days! He's also taller than me by half a decimeter making me the shortest, youngest, and the most prone to be teased in all of division one. In the 7 months after, we did a lot of field training as a division. We went out in groups of 20 or so to exorcise a hollow. It seemed pretty easy for most everyone in the division, especially since there were so many people.

"Gather up everybody!" Sasakibe fukutaichou called the Fall after our first year. "It has been about a year and a half since you all first entered this division. Yamamoto sotaichou will now evaluate your progress you've been told," Sasakibe said.

"Since when did he tell us that?" I whispered.

"When you were spacing out again," Toushiro whispered back.

"I do not space off!" I hissed quietly.

"Oh really? Then what do you call it when you're staring off to space with a blank look in your eye and no one can snap you out of it for at least 5 minutes?" he asked. I fell silent. It's true. I have begun to slack off. I figured that how I was, was good enough for me. Aniki wanted to become something even better than anybody could every dream of. I supported him, but I just didn't feel the need to go that far. Toshiro was like my aniki. He wanted to be the youngest person to become taichou. I supported him as well.

Sasakibe fukutaichou gave us a fairly free training period so aniki, Toshiro, and I began sparing in the middle of the woods. "Itai! Jeez, you don't have to be so rough!" I yelled rubbing my arm.

"My bad, but this is serious training Amane," aniki said with a mocking face.

"Just because it's serious doesn't mean you need to beat me to the ground in the process," I said picking myself up of the ground.

"I'm sorry, are you really hu-"

"Hadou no yon byakurai!" I shouted shooting a beam of white light out of my fingers. I intentionally missed him by an inch singeing only the tips of his hair.

"Oh no! my hair!" Aniki whined childishly. Toshiro and I sighed. Aniki would never change, so why try?

There was the sound of hearty laughter, causing aniki, toshiro and I to turn around. "Yamamoto sotaichou-sama!" we all said wide eyed, immediately falling into a low bow.

"What are you three doing? You better not be causing trouble! Why aren't you three training? What did you do Amane? Why is your brother's hair burnt?" Sasakibe fukutaichou demanded running up. 'Oh great,' I thought rolling my eyes as much as I dared.

"Sasakibe fukutaichou, we were training. I promise we didn't cause any trouble," I said controlling my tone as aniki flinched as his fingers brushed his hair. 'He's probably thinking "Nothing? How is burning my hair nothing?"' I thought.

"Is that what you call training?! When you burn your aniki's head bald with kidou?!" Sasakibe fukutaichou demanded as Yamamoto sotaichou stood to the side with a closed-eye smile. 'Is he freakin' asking for a squabble in front of sotaichou?' I asked myself irritatedly.

"Forgive me fukutaichou," I said with only a small hint of the boat load of sarcasm I held back in my voice. It was just small enough for his pea brain to overlook. "But I iheard/i from the person speaking at the morning schedule announcement, that today was a free day. So in other words we could've done what ever we wanted as long as it was in some essence of the word, safe." I said.

"And is that what you call safe?! You practically burned your brother's head off," Sasakibe fukutaichou asked.

"To be precise, it was the heat of the white lightening kidou that singed his hair. The actual blast missed by exactly 30 centimeters making it impossible for his hair to have been completely burnt off or even for him to have even felt the heat of the kidou on his scalp. It merely singed 2 centimeters of his 5 centimeter long hair," I said.

'So she calculated it from the beginning, my poor hair,' aniki whined mentally.

"Fine then," Sasakibe fukutaichou said not knowing what else to say while getting a huge tick mark on his forehead as his mustache twitched. I could tell everyone other than Sasakibe fukutaichou(isn't that getting annoying to type? Well, at least for me it is) was ready to burst out laughing at how much I've hurt his pride. "Why did you guys stop? Even if this is a free day, you still need to be training for the whole day. So, why'd you stop?" he asked giving me a challenging stare. I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to drive me into the corner with his so called trap. I knew this all to well. I knew what he was expecting and I also knew that he was digging his own grave. 'What are you going to do Amane? You know if you answer it truthfully, he's going to drive you into a corner. Then again if you lie, you'll be driven into another wall for lying because he knows the truth,' aniki and Toshiro thought. I could tell just from their aura's what they were thinking. 'Thanks for believing in me,' I thought sarcastically.

"Sasakibe fukutaichou, I believe you saw clearly what had occurred to cause me to stop. That is, unless you're ready to resign due to bad eyesight," I said calmly causing multiple tick marks to appear on his head. 'Not good,' they thought causing another drop in hopeful aura. 'You guys are hopeless,' I thought with a sigh. "However, I shall repeat it for you just incase you need to be refreshed," I said. I could feel aniki and Toshiro's aura tense up. 'Would you people just believe in me?!' I demanded mentally exasperated, though it was not like they could hear me. 'She's falling into his trap,' they thought. A triumphant smile appeared on Sasakibe's face while the confidence in his aura increased. 'Don't get cocky, baka,' I thought. "I believe Yamamoto sotaichou appeared, so we stopped our training to bow," I stated bluntly. I knew that their heads hung even lower. 'Oh shut up!' I mentally yelled at them. "Oh really? So now you're blaming it on Yamamoto sotaichou-sama?" he asked with a triumphant smile plastered on his face. He thought he had won. I could feel dangerously low auras around my 2 male companions.

"On the contrary Sasakibe fukutaichou, we only stopped to show our loyalty and devotion to him. It's only right of us to pay respect to a shinigami with as high a status as Yamamoto sotaichou-sama. Don't you agree Sasakibe fukutaichou? I do believe that Yamamoto sotaichou-sama's respect is more important than any training we could receive under you. Am I right? Fukutaichou-sama," I asked raising my head from my bowing position.

His expression was priceless. He was utterly horrified that I had countered him so perfectly and so easily. I felt relief emanating from aniki and Toshiro. Sasakibe stood there with a gaping mouth. Yamamoto sotaichou-sama's hearty laugh rang out again. "You should stop Sasakibe," he said with a jolly tone. "You've lost. It's a complete defeat on your part Sasakibe. She has you utterly controlled with her words," he laughed.

At that moment, I didn't see Yamamoto sotaichou-sama as a sotaichou rather, I saw a jolly old man that would tell his grandchildren stories of his life, in front of a roaring fire while the snow fell heavily outside. Yes, I saw a grandfather, specifically, a grandfather during Christmas. It was something, we shinigami, would probably never see because there was no Christmas in the Shinto world. But still, the image made an imprint in my mind and my heart.

"Soutaichou-sama, may I call you Oji-sama?"

At that, I think the two of them behind me died.

* * *

... Yeah, hope you enjoyed. PM or review or both!

-Aisumi


	6. Chapter 6

Simple Desires: The Beginning (Hitsugaya Toushiro)

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, but I do own Amane and her plot and story.

* * *

"In my over 2000 years alive, I have rarely seen such a non-violent yet exciting and unpredictable battle." Yamamoto sotaichou laughed. "Sotaichou," Sasakibe whined softly out of embarrassment. Yamamoto sotaichou decided to give him a break and stopped harassing Sasakibe. "Young girl, what is your name?" he asked. "My name is Amane, Rinaiko Amane," I said politely. "Where are you from?" he asked with a jolly ring in his voice. "I came with my aniki from district 80 of West Rukongai," I said slightly quieter. "Ah, I see. Your family is the one with the terrible mix up that cost your parents their lives, am I right?" he asked. "You knew?" I asked surprised. He nodded. "Unfortunately, I found out far too late to save your family. I knew the moment I was given your information when you enrolled in my academy," he said. "I see," I said quietly.

" Amane, you certainly have a way with words," he said with a smile gently holding my shoulders and motioning for me and everyone else to stand up. "Well, I practice," I said sheepishly as aniki's head drooped. He laughed again. "You are very clever Amane, you hid a compliment within your repost. Are you trying to get on my good side?" he asked. I place my hand behind my head. "Nothing gets past you, does it Yamamoto sotaichou-sama?" I asked with a smile. He laughed again. "If your mouth gets too sweet no one will trust you," he said dangerously. "Hai, I understand sotaichou-dono, but I can't really dish out insults all the time. Insults don't make anybody happy. If given the choice, people would rather be revered highly than always criticized," I said with a smile. He laughed as his dangerous look disappeared. "You've done well Amane," he said. "You have a lot of potential, you were able to perfectly control your white lightening attack and aim it accurately while calculating the distance of its heat radiance," he said with a smile. "What do you plan to do when you gain more power?" Yamamoto sotaichou asked. "I don't really know," I admitted. "I figured that I would stay with my aniki and protect the ones I care about," I said. "Are you not going to pursue the position of a captain?" he asked. "No, I'm not really all that interested in the position. Besides, if I did, then my aniki might have too much competition," I said with a smile. "I'm curious to see your hidden powers," he said with a jolly laugh.

"In fact, I sense very high potential in all of you," he said moving towards aniki. "You must be Amane's aniki, am I right?" he asked. "Hai!" aniki said standing tall and proud. I sweat dropped. 'What an idiot,' I thought. "I am Hindomo, Rinaiko Hindomo, proud aniki of Rinaiko Amane," he said rather... well... erm... embarrassingly. 'Oh Kami,' I thought mentally smashing my head into a wall of pure seki seki stone. "I see, the resemblance is undeniable. I also hear that you raised your younger sister all on your own. You never abandoned her in the midst of criminal territory. Such sibling love isn't common in Soul Society anymore. What's more astounding, you were only 8 at that time weren't you?" Yamamoto asked. Aniki began to turn pink due to all the attention and praise. "I-Iie, it was all in the past there's no need to talk about it," he said with a lopsided grin plastered on his goofy face. Yamamoto sotaichou laughed again. "To be able to do that, you must have been pretty skilled. I believe you will make a wonderful shinigami. You have great perception. You knew that she would only burn your hair and wouldn't be satisfied until she did so you stood still didn't you?" he asked. A sweat drop rolled down aniki's neck as my dark aura circulated through the clearing. "E-erm, that's not exactly how I'd put it," he said with a nervous smile. 'Yet he continued to whine in the end,' I thought.

"And Hitsugaya Toushiro," Yamamoto sotaichou said moving on as I made and directed signs of asphyxiation at my _beloved_ brother. He backed away slightly from me. It was probably a good move though. "Sir," Toushiro said standing ready. "My, my, you've grown so much Hitsugaya-kun. You're no longer the snobby little brat you once were," Yamamoto sotaichou said forcing me to clamp my hands over my mouth in order to keep from laughing. Toushiro's expression wasn't all that amused with me though. "Your skills have grown so much so quickly. Your progress is immeasurable." He said. That made Toushiro relax a little. "You've matured so that you can actually hang around with girls other than Hinamori Momo," he said. "Are you developing any interests?" he teased. Toushiro's face turned slightly red at that making him turn his face away soon only to sweat drop at the dark aura coming for my aniki. "It's too dangerous to say," he muttered. Yamamoto sotaichou laughed at that. I expect 3 wonderful shinigami in the future," he said with a smile.

It was a three way radiation of dark aura. Mine was directed at aniki for deceiving me. Aniki's was directed at Toushiro because he was being an overprotective idiot of a brother. Well then again, I guess you can't blame him for acting on instinct. Toushiro's was the weakest aura but he was slightly mad at me for laughing at him. "Sorry," I mouthed waving my arms to show that I was sorry. Toushiro could really get scary if he was angry. Yamamoto sotaichou just stood there with a big smile.

"Good work you three," he said. "You guys may take the rest of the day off," he said. "Arigatou gozaimasu," we all chorused. "Amane, you will be something great in the future," Yamamoto sotaichou said. "Hai," I said bowing. We walked towards our quarters in the first division. I was lost in thought when I suddenly remembered something, making me hit both of the boys across the back of the head. "Itai!" they both groaned. "What the hell was that for back there? You didn't believe in me at all during my verbal battle." I said. "We honestly didn't think you'd be able to talk your way out of it," Toushiro said. I gave him a dark look. "Alright! Alright! I get it! I shouldn't have underestimated you," he said. "Exactly, don't you dare underestimated the Queen of verbal arguments," I said proudly. "So now you're a self proclaimed queen," Toushiro muttered making me hit him across the back of his head again. "Itai! Now what was that for?!" he yelled. "You know fully well what that was for," I said crossing my arms.

"Which reminds me. What was that about me being a brat when I was younger?" he asked. "Erm... my bad, don't misunderstand," I said switching to a defensive tone. "That reminds me as well." Aniki said putting his finger to his lip in a thoughtful position. Toushiro tensed in a ready position.

"I have to get ready to meet Soifon," he said. I nearly fell over. Aniki had fallen in love with and was dating the soon to be taichou of the second division, Soifon. Soifon and aniki were so deeply in love, it was actually really sweet. Soifon was kind to me and she treated me like a sister. I had nothing to complain about. If aniki loved her, then I would as well. I trusted aniki that much. It wasn't too bad of a mismatch considering that aniki was 4th seat and she was captain. It was one of the things that drove aniki to be a better shinigami.

Toushiro let out the breath he had held in. He knew just as well as I did, that aniki could get pretty scary when it came to things like relationships. "That also reminds me," aniki said with a darker aura. "What was that about it being too dangerous a subject to talk about?" Aniki asked Toushiro. "I-Iie, it's not like that," Toushiro said defensively. I sighed but then my aura increased again. "Aniki, you knew fully well that I was going to singe your hair yet you still complained about it didn't you?" I asked dangerously. "I-I just didn't want to worry you for acting strangely," he choked out as I began strangling him.

I was going to kill him

But he knew that I would not.

* * *

Sometimes I wonder how I came up with this stuff. Review!

-Aisumi


	7. Chapter 7

Simple Desires: The Beginning (Hitsugaya Toushiro)

Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, but I do own Amane and her plot and story.

* * *

Toushiro and aniki played shogi in aniki's and my apartment while I read my book. We talked well into the evening when aniki had to prepare to leave for his date with Soifon making me play shogi in his place. He had already lost 5 times to Toushiro.

"But I suck at shogi!" I protested. "You're better at it than me," aniki said. I sighed in defeat. "You might want to get your hair cut and take a shower if you don't want to smell like a barbeque rack," I said rolling my eyes. "Good idea," he said running to the bathroom with scissors and shampoo.

"How do I look?" he asked. "Considering you, you actually don't look that bad," I said as he stood there with a formal yukata on. "I'm going to ignore the first part," he said. "Are you taking Soifon somewhere nice?" Toushiro asked moving his knight. "Insolence!" he said sounding appalled "Of course! Only the best for my dear Soifon," he said doing a strange pose. "Uh... sure, what ever you say," I said a tad bit grossed out. "It would've been better if you hadn't moved into such a disturbing position," Toushiro said as I finished my turn. "Ok then! I'm going now!" aniki said. "Alright, have fun," Toushiro and I said as he left. "Tell Soifon hi for me," I said. "Sure," he responded leaving.

10 minutes later

"Aww! I lost again. You could've held back a little Toushiro-kun," I pouted. "Then it wouldn't be a fair game," he said. I stuck out my tongue. "It's still light out, what do you want to do?" I asked. "Why don't we do some training," he suggested. "Aww! That's no fun! Training is all you ever do," I said. "Not true, I just played shogi with you," he pointed out. "But training's not fun," I whined. "You asked what I wanted to do," he said. "Oh fine," I sighed giving in. I strung Hatsuyuki to my kentia and walked out with Toushiro.

I spent the whole time blocking his attacks since it seemed impossible for me to do anything else. I could tell that Toushiro was giving it his best, so I tried to as well. My grip tightened as he pushed harder against Hatsuyuki with Hyorinmaru. We had agreed not to use our initial releases. I parried his attack evenly but with a swift motion he forced Hatsuyuki to fly out of my hand while causing me to fall on my back. "Ack," I muttered as Hatsuyuki flew towards my face. I rolled to the side narrowly avoiding it.

"Come on, stand up. Your skills are getting dull and weak Amane," Toushiro said. "Don't wanna," I replied exhausted. "Maybe you're just getting stronger," I said panting. "Please Toushiro, can't we take a break?" I asked closing my eyes. He sighed. "Okay," he said sitting down to my right.

"The sunset's really nice today," he said lying on his back. "Yeah, it really is," I replied closing my eyes. "Hey Amane," Toushiro called lightly to ask if I was asleep yet. "I'm not asleep yet, just resting my eyes," I said. "I'm so tired," I mumbled rolling over onto his shoulder. I sensed him tense when I put my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest.

I mentally began pounding my head against a wall. "I just did something stupid and bold." I thought as the heat began to get to my face. I closed my eyes and waited for his reaction. I was asking him a silent question that I would never had worked up the courage to tell him up front. I was nervous about asking him this way as well, but I had no choice. I awaited his reaction silently. I felt him relax a little and wrap his arms around me in a hug. I buried my nose into the black kimono fabric of his shihakusho.

Silent questions iwere/i always the hardest to interpret and answer.

I took it as a good sign. "Toushiro-kun?" I called softly. "What?" he asked having closed his eyes. "Will I always be this close to your heart?" I asked softly. "Ah," he replied softly.

"Ah" could mean yes, or that he wasn't paying attention, but I didn't ask for more. I breathed in the scent of the evening air. His words and the wind were more than enough to satisfy my soul.

If a person had walked by, I'm not sure if they would have gotten the wrong idea or the right idea. I didn't know for sure if he understood what I meant. But it was alright, as long as I was always somewhere near him it would be alright.

_I am a simple girl,_

_With a simple brother,_

_I live a simple life,_

_In a simple home,_

_I do simple tasks,_

_I make simple mistakes,_

_I ask simple questions,_

_I got simple answers,_

_I had some simple friends,_

_Others not so much,_

**But I had complicated feelings for a simple friend,**

**I know of only one way to describe it,**

_In my heart, I held_

Simple Desires

The Beginning of my story

* * *

(Somewhere else in Seireitei)

"Arigatou Hindomo-kun," a feminine voice said happily. "The evening doesn't end now," Hindomo replied wrapping a blind fold around his girlfriend's eyes. "What are you doing?" she asked curious. "It's a surprise," he responded soothingly. "You'll see when you get there," he said gently grasping the shoulders of his lover while leading her down the street. The people who passed looked at the couple strangely and were ready to comment on what they were doing, but Hindomo stared everyone down. "Hindomo? Where are we going? It seems like a really long walk," she said. "Don't worry, we're almost there," he said leading her into a garden.

"Alright Soifon, guess where we are," he whispered in her ear. "A garden," she said. "Precisely, but do you know which?" he asked. His lover paused for a long time trying to gather information without using her eyes. "I smell camellias along with some roses," she said finally. "Nope," he said making the buzzing noise "Let me show you," he said taking off her blindfolds. Soifon was too stunned. Roses and camellias were never a big favorite of hers, but not a one was in sight. Her boyfriend wrapped his arms around her. "You put an illusion over my nose," she said finally. She stood amidst a field of bellflower in every species and color imaginable. "I heard bellflowers were your favorite," she stood speechless.

"It's wonderful," she breathed. She could've stared at the scenery all day if she wanted to, but Hindomo wouldn't let her. He moved away from behind her and approached her from the front taking her hands. "This isn't all I have for you Soifon," he said softly. He knelt down on one knee and withdrew a velvet box. "I can't wait any longer my dear. We've been together for so long. We've spent so many happy times together, as well as many sad ones. In the end, I think it has made our relationship stronger. I love you so much Soifon. I want you to be my bride. Will you marry me?" he asked.

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0.0 Hope you liked

-Aisumi


	8. Chapter 8

She stood gaping at what he had just said. "Yes," her eyes danced with excitement. "We're right next to the office for marriage licenses," he hinted. "I can't wait any longer. We can have the ceremony later," she smiled grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the building.

* * *

They really were...

...one of the happiest couples in the history of Seireitei.

Sound weird?

Think I should rephrase it?

No,

I would love to as well, but I can't. I wish more than anything that I could.

* * *

Aniki told us about his marriage to Soifon the next morning after I half choked him to death because he didn't tell us he was going to do it. I could've at least gone to *cough*spy*cough* I mean have given him some pointers ahead of time.

Aniki and Soifon-nee decided to have the formal ceremony 3 months from the day he proposed. I was very happy for both of them. They were happy together, so I had nothing to complain about.

-/-/-/-/-

"If we're lucky, the 4th group will be able to lead the hollows to our area," aniki said while sitting on a fallen tree.

It has been about 2 ½ months now, but aniki still has to participate in the division missions. Aniki and I were group 7 of 10 that were stationed through out the forest. The plan was for group 4 to lead the hollow ID#AC9B312 into the forest, where one of the groups would finish it off. Each group had 3 people in it. Luckily, I was able to be with my aniki. However, Toushiro-kun was in another group.

"Man, this is _so_ annoying," I murmured sitting on the grass. "Is there any report from the pursuit squad?" I asked. "No, not yet," the 3rd member, Suicon said while listening to the message via hell butterfly.

"I'm sorry, but I kind of have to well… you know," the guy said awkwardly while pointing towards the bush. "Just go!" both aniki and I barked in disgust. "Yes, Thank you," Suicon said quickly while running into the surrounding forest. "Jeez, that's disgusting," I muttered. "I second that," aniki said ruffling my hair in which I glowered at his action.

"Ahhh!" I literally jumped 5 feet into the air at the sound.

_And then,_

_All too soon._

_It ended abruptly._

"What the hell?!" I shouted scared. I turned around to see Suicon standing in the woods bloody and badly beaten.

"Help me, Amane-sempai, Rinaiko-sempai," he gasped out as blood splattered out of his mouth and his hand clasped itself tightly around his heart. His eyes shone with pure fear as he fell and they closed. I jumped up from my seat. "Suicon-kun," I shouted worriedly while running towards him. "Wait, Amane! Watch out!" aniki shouted running after me.

I didn't listen to him.

I was a mere few feet from my comrade, when a hairy but undoubtedly strong force crushed me against the earth.

"Damn it!" Aniki cursed as he was still a while away.

I felt a hairy rope snake under my stomach and pick me up.

When I raised my head, I noticed that I was uncomfortably suspended by my stomach.

"Let me go!" I snapped and kicked, but was unable to reach or draw my zanpakuto.

"Aren't I lucky? I get to eat the soul of a shinigami with such pretty features and so much undeveloped potential," the disgusting voice of the hollow said from behind its mask of bone.

"Let me go you hamster wannabe bastard!" I yelled kicking my legs since they were the only things I could move.

"Aww, aren't you the most helpless little girl, too bad. I'm going to have a wonderful meal," he laughed sadistically while bringing me towards his mouth. I coughed, sputtered, and teared as the acrid air began to suffocate me. My eyes widened only to sear in pain. "Stop it," I chocked out quietly.


	9. Chapter 9

"Sizzle, Natsuhikari!"

In a wave of heat, I felt the felt the hold of the hollow release as I fell towards the ground. I landed in the worried arms of my aniki. "Are you alright, Amane?" he asked as the cry of a pained hollow resounded behind us.

"I'm fine," I replied shaken. "Thank you, aniki," I whispered standing up slowly.

"What did you think you were doing?" aniki scolded.

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

"Ahh, I see, you must be a part of that huge plan to kill me. Hah! To bad you're going to die here!" he cackled sending his tentacles at us. "Here he comes!" aniki shouted readying Natsuhikari who was already in its shikai form. I drew Hatsuyuki and placed my hand on the flat of the blade.

"Heed upon-"

My call was cut in half when a stab of pain was felt in my right arm, forcing me to drop Hatsuyuki and become pushed back into a tree by the tentacle. Blood trickled from the small hole caused by the tentacle, and my forehead, from being slammed into the ground. The sound of slicing flesh reached my ear and I was released.

"Pay attention," aniki snapped. I stood up slowly and nodded so as well. "I've got a plan," he said.

"You distract and I'll attack," he said. "Sound simple enough?"

I nodded "Ok, I got it," I said as I picked up Hatsuyuki, while putting pressure on my right arm.

"Let's go!" aniki shouted as another set of regenerated hairy, for a lack of a better word, tentacles flew at us. Aniki quickly flash stepped away as the tentacles began raining down upon me.

It took everything I had just to block them.

"Your flash step is frighteningly slow, shinigami," the hollow taunted.

"Shut up, don't underestimate the power of a 1st division 3rd seat," aniki shouted lashing out with Natsuhikari.

For awhile, the sounds of combat reigned.

Then, all of the sudden, the sounds stopped, however, the onslaught of tentacles did not.

Fear struck me as the possibilities of my very own brother's death rendered me motionless.

That was until 3 tentacles embedded themselves in my lower abdomen. Blood spurted from both the tentacle and my own stomach as I quickly sliced myself free before it could begin to drain my soul.

I stole a glance at my aniki to see if he was alright.

He stood, unmoving, only staring at two figures that hung suspended in the air in front of him.

They highly resembled aniki and me.

"Father? Mother?" I asked taking a wild guess. I didn't remember their faces. I was too young when they had died.

There was a sting of pain at my cheek. "Pay attention to your opponent," the hollow hissed.

"What did you do to my aniki!?" I shouted trying to seem angry but failing since I was really just afraid.

"Oh, nothing yet. I'm just letting him reminisce and talk to his parents," he said sending another wave of tentacles at me.

"Aniki! Snap out of it!" I yelled while blocking the many pieces of flapping flesh.

"He can't hear us, He's in another world," the hollow said. "But don't worry, I'll eat him in due time," he cackled.

"You bastard!" I hissed.

"Father? Mother?" aniki whispered just loud enough for me to hear.

His voice froze me over. Was it really our parents?

"What's wrong? What's going on? Why won't he snap out if it?" I wanted to ask. Everything was going wrong.

Suddenly more tentacles came at me and I blocked but closed my eyes.

I looked at my hand that was shaking so violently.

I was more than afraid.

I was terrified.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I only own Amane and all of her story

Simple Desires: The Beginning

The Dark Hours

I was afraid for myself and for my aniki. I didn't want to see him like that.

It scared me so much.

I blocked, afraid to get hit.

And I attacked, clinging to the very threads of my life.

I was a coward and I knew it, yet I feared it in the mean time as well.

Pain

Anguish

Fear

They had been completely masked all of my other senses. My survival instincts had turned on.

Out of nowhere, I saw one of the tentacles reroute and head for my aniki.

"Watch out! Aniki!" I shouted but he didn't hear me.

It plunged into his chest without letting a drop of blood spill.

"I'm hungry, so I might as well have a snack," he hollow said as my aniki's image began to fade away.

He was draining it.

He was draining aniki's soul while he stood there helpless.

"Stop it!" I shouted.

I had let him fight alone for so long already.

I couldn't stand to merely watch and be a decoy any longer.

I had to try and save him.

A wall of tentacles blocked my path. I sliced past them, but felt a sting at my neck as one bypassed my defense. I was determined to not let it bother me. I continued on as soon as I sliced it off.

Aniki's soul was growing dimmer by the second.

I felt so far away

I felt like no matter how fast my legs seemed to move, I couldn't seem to get any closer.

It felt like I was never going to reach him

I knew that pain was surging throughout my body, but they all felt so far away.

I wanted nothing more but to close my eyes and wake up to my bed with aniki cooking some weird concoction he called breakfast.

Perhaps, I was tired because of excessive blood loss. Or maybe, one of the tentacles that had gotten me had actually pulled out a portion of the soul. I wouldn't know. Slowly, I couldn't tell if I was moving my legs or not, or if I was standing or laying.

Darkness threatened to close around me.

"Aniki,"

"Aniki." I said forcing my eyes open.

From the last time I checked, his soul body was extremely translucent. I could see through him though the image was still slightly hazy.

I sped up and in a quick motion, cut through the tentacle that bound him to his immediate death.

His body instantly regained its solid form as he fell to the ground.

But I could tell that a large portion of his soul was gone.

"Aniki?! Aniki?!" I shouted holding him. "Get it together! Aniki?!" I yelled shaking him while tears streamed down my cheeks when he didn't respond.

"Why'd you do that Amane" a feminine voice asked. "Put your sword down, we don't want to fight," a male voice added.

I looked up from behind the curtain of tears that hung itself over my vision.

I saw my parents, or rather, bodies that looked like them.

"How can you call yourself our parents if you would allow that to happen to your own son?!" I shouted standing and pointing at my aniki with tears in my eyes. "Aniki is the one who raised me since I was a child. You raised him before that didn't you?! So why? How can you shamelessly call yourself a parent if you are okay with hurting your own child like that?!" I screamed.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I only own Amane and all of her story

Simple Desires: The Beginning

The Dark Hours

"Aniki said that you were killed, when we were living in district 80, by some bandits. You weren't consumed by this hollow so why? Why is he able to steal your soul bodies?!" I screamed not expecting an answer from them.

"How can a hollow _not_ eat 2 souls near death?" the hollow asked in a sickening tone. "They were truly tasty ones too. Too bad they were already too dead to convert into hollows," the hollow cackled before putting on a more serious tone.

"Why did you interfere? I was sure I had killed you with all those wounds you've received. I was almost done eating him too. You would have been next. I promise to give you a turn once I'm done. Although, it seems like you're quite eager to die considering how you drew all of my attention to you all at once," the hollow laughed again.

His so call laugh sounded like a thousand screeching birds.

A groan erupted from aniki. "Hold on, aniki," I whispered.

I glared at the hollow.

"You bastard!" I yelled at him.

"Heed upon wintry wishes, Hatsuyuki!" I shouted out.

For the first time today(and in this story), Hatsuyuki took upon her shikai form.

The dull colored blade changed in to brilliant and lustrous silver with a thin coat of frost. The hilt became clear ice and the cloth around it changed into a pure and brilliant white. The cloth twisted around the hilt to form diamond cut out patterns showing the solid ice hilt. The guard transformed as well, to obtain a hexagonal shape with everything cut out except the outside rim and the pattern of a snowflake. A white tassel with silvery streaks hung from the end of the hilt. The ice in my zanpakuto was 5 times stronger than regular steel. Immediately, a blade of ice flew out at its target, the hollow. The hollow quickly dodged and jumped away.

"Oops, too many shinigami are approaching, the barrier's going to be broken. Sorry, I can't play," he said while disappearing into the distance.

"What barrier? Hollows can't put up- Hey! Get your filthy ass back here!" I yelled running forward as the hollow retreated.

Suddenly, a figure was dropped in front of me.

I recognized the fiery red hair immediately.

"Aniki?" I whispered unsure of myself.

I looked from his body, to the figure before me.

The aniki before me's eyes shown brightly.

"My dear little sister, I'm sorry for scaring you," the one before me said softly.

I stared and stared.

I wanted to reach out and hug him but before I could do that, he was lurched upwards.

There was an insane cackle and the body before me was reeled towards the hollow. "It's a true masterpiece," the hollow said.

"You stole the light in his eyes," I whispered.

I had become frightened again.

Frightened that I had no one to hold on to.

Frightened about knowing that the hollow had a large enough piece of aniki's soul to create such a precise and accurate body.

Frightened that I had failed to protect my only family.

"Correct, let's meet again someday little one," he said fully disappearing.

I just stood there.

I felt like the hollow had carried away a part of my soul along with my aniki's.

Aniki's eyes would never again light up,

And it was all my fault.

My zanpakuto fell from my hand and reverted back to its sealed form. I fell to my knees slowly next to my aniki as the clouds over head began to drop their bearings slowly.

"Aniki, aniki, hold on, I beg of you," I whispered reaching for his hand.

My chest tightened painfully as I felt how cold they were.

I whispered my vow to my brother as he lie unconscious in the grass.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I only own Amane and all of her story

Simple Desires: The Beginning

The Dark Hours

Chapter 12

* * *

"Amane," he strained out as he painfully opened his now dull eyes.

"Aniki, I'm here," I choked out through sobs that I tried to lock away.

"I love you so much. I'm glad you survived," he whispered as I shook my head violently.

"No, aniki, I should be the one brimming death right now. You're only like this because you were protecting me," I said through tears that wanted to seep out.

"That's because it's a brother's duty and because I love you. I don't regret it," he said.

"Well I do! Why'd you have to be my aniki?! I don't want you as my aniki?! I don't want this to happen to you!" I sobbed out.

A small smile graced his pain stricken face.

"Same old Amane, stay safe and... try to be happy," he said as he closed his eyes and ceased all movements.

"Aniki?" I asked quietly and shakily.

"Aniki?" I said firmer but with more fear

"Aniki?!" I said yet again except louder.

I grasped his shoulders and shook him.

"Aniki?!" again no response.

"ANIKI!!!" I screamed letting my emotions spill over.

Salty tears mixed with the light rain and the blood of both me and my brother.

"No!" I screamed crying what seemed like and endless stream of tears.

The sound of feet resonated through the grey land.

"Amane!" Toushiro's voice resounded through the night.

He saw me against my aniki's chest sobbing my eyes out.

He knew immediately that something terrible had happened since normally, my sharp tongue and strong heart would have never allowed such an action.

He ran up to me and gently pulled me away from my brother and into a tight hug.

I cried against his chest and held onto his shihakusho tightly.

"Call the fourth division! Tell them it's an emergency!" Toushiro barked out.

"Hai! 3rd seat Hitsugaya-san," the saluted before running off.

(If you're confused, aniki and Toshiro are about the same level, therefore they're both 3rd seat and major rivals... at least they were.)

"It's okay, Amane," he whispered holding me as I cried.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I only own Amane and all of her story

Simple Desires: The Beginning

The Dark Hours

Chapter 13

* * *

"Someone inform Soifon taichou and tell them Rinaiko-san is in critical condition," Toushiro said choosing his words carefully.

I sobbed harder, but silently.

I gripped Toshiro's shihakusho tighter.

I knew I didn't deserve it after letting my own flesh and blood die like that, but I really did want his comfort, if only for a little while longer.

**There was no one else.**

Moments later, Soifon-nee, Unohana taichou, and Isane fukutaichou arrived after I stopped crying.

Toushiro left to inform Sotaichou-sama of the incident.

Unohana taichou was working on aniki while Soifon-nee tried to comfort me while asking what had happened.

Not a good combination.

Isane fukutaichou tried to get me to cooperate while she healed my injuries, but I insisted they were fine and that she should help Unohana taichou.

Unohana taichou walked up with a sullen expression. Sure she has seen death many times over, but this time it was the death of the loved one of a friend.

"A thousand apologies, Soifon taichou, Amane-san. There's no way we can save him. We can not restore the huge amount of his soul that is missing, but he has temporarily regained his consciousness and he's calling for you Soifon taichou," Unohana taichou said in her soft voice.

I felt my stomach churn in pain and fear.

My aniki was really going to leave me after raising me for so many years.

And I knew that the cause of his death wasn't the hollow, it was me.

I slacked off.

I didn't cherish my training like aniki had asked me to. I took for granted, the life he worked so hard to give me and yet in the end, I was the one who killed him. If I had worked hard enough, I might have been able to save him.

I stared at the two slowly departing lovers.

I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could see Soifon-nee crying and aniki's lips moving.

~3rd person POV~

"You bastard! How can you leave me all alone?!" Soifon sobbed sadly. Her lover, Hindomo, smiled slightly. "The same attitude I fell in love with," he said as they shared their last kiss.

He put his hand on her leg, then moved it to her stomach.

Gently, Soifon put her hand over his.

"Tell them that I'll always be watching over the two of you and that I'll always love them," he said softly. "Soifon, promise me not to hold the grudge with Yoruichi. When I first met you, you were grief stricken and lost. I don't want you to return to that state when I'm gone," he whispered.

"You idiot, do you think I could care about that right now? You should worry about yourself," she demanded softly. "I just want... what's best for you," he gasped out as breathing slowly became more difficult.

"I love you, Soifon," he whispered.

"I love you too, Hindomo," she said as he closed his eyes forever.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I only own Amane and all of her story

Simple Desires: The Beginning

The Dark Hours

Chapter 14

* * *

The moment Toushiro returned, he stood by my side.

"I already informed Yamamoto Sotaichou," he said softly. "Thanks," I whispered my voice cracking and wavering.

I knew it was all I could say because my voice died right after.

"What's the status?" he asked to no one in particular.

"Unohana taichou has helped him come to, but for only a short period of time. We're really sorry, but there's nothing left for us to do. Right now he's speaking with Soifon taichou," Isane said for me.

"I see," he said quietly. "Thank you."

The whole area carried a sad aura.

I saw Soifon nee put her hands on aniki's shoulders and shook him slightly, much like what I had done earlier.

"Hindomo? Hindomo? Hindomo! Hindomo!!!" she screamed out while crying.

Her grief stricken voice struck fear into the very core of my soul.

_This was it_

It was the end.

Aniki was never going to come back now.

**He was dead**

I was alone.

I closed my eyes as they became heavy and wanted to relieve the pain in my eyes.

One tear snaked its way from under my eyelids.

Slowly, I fell forward, unable to control my body. I never felt the impact of the ground, for my mind shut down first.

(Toushiro's POV)

When Soifon screamed, I believe everybody's hearts became heavy.

Hindomo was my major rival, considering we were both 3rd seats. He was the one that lit a fire behind me to get me moving and I was the one to light his too.

When I turned to Amane to see how she was taking this, I saw her falling.

I quickly caught her before she hit the floor.

I felt her forehead as Unohana taichou and Isane fukutaichou came over.

"Amane! Amane!" I called shaking her shoulders with the arm that I had wrapped behind her back.

"Here, let me do it," Unohana taichou said walking up to me and Amane.

I would probably never admit it, but I didn't want to let her go, ever.

Reluctantly, I compromised by laying her down on a white cloth stretcher. Unohana taichou felt her pulse as I stood on the opposite side beside the stretcher. She frowned, causing my heart to skip a beat as I forgot how to breathe.

"Isane, I thought I told you to take care of Amane-san's wounds," she said in a soft and disappointed voice.

"I'm terribly sorry Captain, she said they were fine and wouldn't let me get close enough to check them," Isane said sad that her taichou was disappointed in her.

"Nevermind that, the important thing is healing Amane-san's wounds. We need to transport her to the division healing rooms right away," Unohana taichou said rushing her away.

I could merely watch as Amane was carried away.

_Why did I not see those wounds?_


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I only own Amane and all of her story

Simple Desires: The Beginning

Chapter 15

* * *

When I awoke, I was in a blindingly white and antiseptic room.

"Amane-san," the shinigami nurse said.

I immediately recognized that I was in the 4th division healing unit.

"Excuse me, but could you tell me how long I've been out?" I asked in a hoarse voice.

I sat up slowly, knowing that if I moved to quickly, I would feel the pain in my wounds.

There was no one in the room other than me and the nurse standing outside the door.

"That's right, it wasn't a dream. Aniki's really gone," I thought. My mind was surprisingly blank at the moment. I felt so numb.

"You recovered rather quickly for the number and seriousness of your injuries," he said. "You were out for only 2 ½ weeks. The 3rd seat, Hitsugaya-san came by everyday to visit you," he said with a smile.

A sudden thought struck me as I watched the timid shinigami.

"Sorry, not to be rude or anything, but who are you?" I asked quite bluntly.

"Agh! Forgive me for not introducing myself," he said quickly while bowing multiple times.

"My name is Yamada Hanatarou," he said politely.

"Rinaiko Amane," I hesitated and added. "The last of the Rinaiko since I let my aniki die."

"Oh don't say th-. Hey! Amane-san! Where're you going?! You can't leave yet! Your wounds aren't fully healed! I mean you could get hurt and all!" he exclaimed panicking and flailing his arms around.

"Hanatarou!" I said firmly causing him to stop.

"Yes?" he asked timidly.

"Thank you for caring, but I really can take care of myself. I promise to check with Unohana taichou before I leave," I said walking past him.

I felt the burn of my wounds as I walked down the long corridor.

Unohana taichou and Isane fukutaichou looked at me surprised when I reached their office.

"I wish for permission to leave the medical unit" I said without a streak of emotion on my face or in my voice.

Isane was about to protest when Unohana taichou spoke out.

"You may do whatever you need to, just take care not to reopen your wounds," Unohana taichou said.

"Yes ma'am, thank you," I said leaving.

"Taichou, why?" Isane asked.

"There's nothing more we can do for her," Unohana taichou replied.

Isane looked at her taichou strangely.

"I don't quite understand," Isane admitted.

"If we force her to heal when she doesn't have the will to recover, then she won't. All we can do is hope she'll find a motivation to live," Unohana said.

Slowly, Isane nodded.

"I think, I'm not sure, but I think I'm beginning to understand, taichou," she said.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I only own Amane and all of her story

Simple Desires: The Beginning

Chapter 16

* * *

"Where's Amane?!" Toushiro demanded.

"She was given permission from Unohana taichou to leave a while ago," Isane said.

Toushiro was about to dash away, but Isane grabbed the sleeve of his shihakushou.

"Wait a minute, Hitsugaya-san." She said.

"What?" he asked irritated that he was being kept from doing what he needed to do.

"Hitsugaya-san, you're the only one that might be able to save her. Give her a reason to live, or else she might not," Isane said.

Then, he left as quickly as he had come.

"It's been awhile since we've last spoken hasn't it," I said to Hatsuyuki. "I've neglected you for so long. I've never really noticed until now, that you really are an amazing zanpakuto, Hatsuyuki. I just wish for you to give me one more chance. Just one more chance to wield you. Last time, the mission was a complete failure because of me. I don't want to let my loved ones die ever again. Never again will I neglect my training. I will start today, as a new person," I vowed.

"You better. That was so humiliating back there," the giant ice phoenix cawed. Her rigged ice body and wings encased her true form that I had yet to unlock. "You don't deserve to use me if that ever happens again," she said coldly.

"I understand, thank you, Hatsuyuki-sama," I said bowing slightly.

One day, when I officially achieved bankai, our relationship would change. But for now, she was the source of my power, and she was stronger.

When I opened my eyes, I was no longer in the cold and icy realm in which Hatsuyuki resided. Instead, I was in the clearing of a forest.

For the whole day I trained, non-stop, driven only by my own anger and hatred for myself.

When dusk fell upon soul society, I had drained the last of my energy and some of my wounds had also reopened. I began staggering towards a random direction that I assumed was home. I took 2 unstable steps, when I stumbled to my knees with the world spinning around me.

I saw a blow of white that was probably the moon, but reminded me of a certain person.

"Toushiro," I whispered under my breath.

"I'm here for you, Amane," his voice resounded in his mind.

I didn't know if I was imagining it, or if he really was there. It really didn't matter though because I fell unconscious soon after. When I finally came to, it seemed like the next day.

"I see you're awake," Toushiro said.

I turned to see him standing next to his desk as I lay on his futon without the black outer layer of my shihakushou.

Before I could ask, he answered.

"When I heard you left the hospital yesterday, I went searching for you knowing you'd probably do something stupid," he muttered. It didn't offend me. It was just Toshiro's way of speaking.

"When I found you, you were training and..." he trailed off knowing that I knew what he meant. It wasn't his style to be over concerned and it was making him uncomfortable by being so.

I stared down at my bandages.

"Why?" he asked after a period of silence. "Why are you doing this to yourself Amane? I know you're upset about Hindomo-sempai's death, but he really wouldn't want you to be acting like this. Please, don't do this to yourself Amane. It's hurting more people than you think," Toshiro said still leaning against his desk.

For a long time, I was quiet.

"I am really thankful, Toushiro-kun, for doing all of this and being so very kind to me," I said softly. "But, I don't deserve this, not after all I've done and failed to do," I said standing up while staring at the floor.

He was about to speak when I quickly covered his mouth with my hand. I saw his eyes widen in confusion and slight disbelief.

"Thank you so much, Toushiro-kun, for everything," I whispered.

I removed my hand from over his mouth and wrapped them around his neck in order to hug him. I let my cheek touch his slightly and brought my lips close to his ear. I could feel his heart rate increase, his breaths become more labored, and his body became more tense.

I wouldn't let this opportunity slip pass me. It was my last chance to hug him like this for a very long time if ever again.

"I'm sorry, Toushiro-kun," I whispered quietly as I felt tears well I my eyes.

"Goodbye," I whispered as I hit the all too vulnerable nerve in the back of his neck.

I could feel his body jerk before going limp.

I held him tightly while closing my eyes.

I couldn't believe what I had done.

To the last person who truly cared too.

I gently removed the black outer kimono he wore and hung it on a hook on the wall. I gently placed him down on his futon before covering him with blankets.

I walked towards the table on which Hatsuyuki lie.

I picked her up before looking at the wall where Hyorinmaru hung.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I only own Amane and all of her story

Simple Desires: The Beginning

Chapter 17

* * *

"I'm sorry, Hatsuyuki, I know you've always worked the best around Hyorinmaru, but there's just no way I can stay," I whispered.

At that time, I noticed another sword on that wall along side Hyorinmaru with a slip of paper next to it.

"Natsuhikari?" I whispered immediately recognizing the gold and crimson zanpakuto.

I immediately walked up to him and grabbed a hold of the sheath, taking him off of the wall.

As always, the fire based zanpakuto scalded my cold hands the moment it made contact with my flesh.

I looked at him sadly as memories of aniki followed.

"I'm sorry, aniki, Natsuhikari," I whispered sadly.

I picked up the piece of paper next to it.

"Reminder: Give Natsuhikari back to Amane," it read in Toushiro's handwriting.

I tried not to think of what I did to Toushiro as guilt began inching its way through my still numb body. However, questions still raced through my mind.

Why was Natsuhikari still here? Aniki's soul had already departed and a shinigami's zanpakuto is a part of their soul.

"It's because his soul is still alive," a voice boomed.

"Who's there!?" I demanded drawing Natsuhikari even though it burned my hand.

'You idiot, you're holding me,' the voice said.

"Natsuhikari?" I asked.

There was a violent gust of wind and heat.

Then there before me, stood a grand lion with a mane of fire, a coat of luminous gold threads, and sharp red eyes.

"Natsuhikari," I whispered.

This was not my first encounter with him.

Aniki had been working on achieving bankai for a long time. I was there with him when he first achieved materialization.

"Natsuhikari-sama, where is my aniki?" I asked.

"Idiot, he's dead, remember?" he boomed. "Then why-" "There's a small portion of his soul left in the bond of sibling love you two share. That's all that allows me to exist. Some call it a blessing, but others think differently. Because of your constant hate for yourself, I am trapped in between this world and the next. That's not only me, it's the rest of his soul as well," Natsuhikari said.

"Then how can I put his soul to rest?" I asked.

"It's simple. You just need to let him go. It's your constant hatred for yourself that has him caught up in looking after you instead of passing on. But then again, in the mean time you might want to reconnect the soul that has been buried with the part that was consumed by the hollow." Natsuhikari said.

"But-"

"It's your choice, if you want your brother to pass on peacefully," Natsuhikari said as he faded away.

For awhile, I stood there staring into space, reflecting on what Natsuhikari had told me, when a burning pain surged up my arm forcing me to let go of the sword.

I looked at my now smoking and sore hand.

Natsuhikari, the zanpakuto aniki had poured so much of his time and effort in, would never reach its full potential.

I looked outside and saw that the sun was almost fully overhead.

_Had I really been here for that long?_

I smeared some ointment over my burn and wrapped it up with some bandages.

I found a sheet of paper and a brush, and then began writing a letter to Toushiro-kun.

I scanned over the letter once more.

_Had I included everything I wanted to say?_

No,

I had left a large portion of it out.

But that was better left unknown and buried in the depths of my heart.

I folded it and tied a string around it, leaving it on the table.

I turned to look at him once more before I grabbed the black outer kimono and pulled it over my shoulders.

I pulled the sash tight and tied both Natsuhikari and Hatsuyuki to opposite sides of my kentai. I pulled on my shoes and opened the door.

For a moment, I just let the bright light flood into the room.

"The world's too bright after aniki's death," I thought.

I wanted to look back at Toushiro once more, but I knew that if I did, I'd never be able to leave.

I closed the door behind me without looking back.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I only own Amane and all of her story

Simple Desires: The Beginning

Chapter 18

* * *

I took a deep breath to reassure myself before heading towards the first division's main building.

"Ah! Amane-chan, I got your letter of resignation. Sotaichou-sama said he needed to see you as soon as possible," the secretary said.

I nodded and walked towards the looming white doors.

Slowly, they opened for me and I walked in.

"Sotaichou-sama, I have arrived," I said kneeling.

I felt him walk up to me.

"Please stand up Amane. You and Hindomo are like children to me so you needn't be so formal," he said. "You can call me Oji like you always have," he putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Thank you for your kindness, Sotaichou-sama, but, I don't deserve the right to call you Oji or anything in my current life for that matter," I said standing up.

He frowned

"Let's sit down and talk about this," he said. "I guess you're adamant about resigning from your position in division 1," he said handing me a cup of green tea.

"Yeah," I said quietly while accepting the tea.

"I see, then I assume that nothing I can say will keep you from leaving if you're that determined," he said.

"But that doesn't mean you won't try," I said.

He chuckled softly. "You know me all to well," he said.

"Your brother wouldn't want this. You shouldn't blame yourself Amane. Death happens to everyone, even to us in soul society," he said.

That was true, but the death of a loved one is much more painful under the circumstances in soul society.

He sighed

"I won't be gone forever. I'll be back one day when I deserve the title of shinigami," I said softly but firmly.

"Shall I reserve your position in my division until then?" he asked.

"No, I'll have no need for it then," I said.

"Very well, please hand over your badge," he sighed.

I reached into the folds of my shihakushou and pulled out a gold plated badge with my number on it.

I stared at it for a split second before handing it over.

"After the small ceremony, you will be officially removed from your shinigami duties. You will be put on suspension until you return." he said.

"I understand, thank you very much," I said bowing sightly.

"Is there someone you'd like to leave a message to? I can deliver it for you," he asked.

"Yes, I'd like to leave a note to Soifon taichou," I said.

"Alright, I'll have Sasakibe fukutaichou make the announcement," he placed a sheet of paper and a brush in front of me and left.

I chewed on my lower lip for a short while, deciding on what to write.

Finally, I began writing a short and brief note.

_Dear Soifon nee-san,_

_Aniki's death is completely my fault because I acted rashly. Please take care of yourself while I'm gone. I understand if you resent me for what happened to aniki. _

_Goodbye,,_

_Amane_

"Attention all captains and friends of Rinaiko Amane of Seireitei," Sasakibe fukutaichou's voice rung out over the special kidou intercom.

"Rinaiko Amane of division 1 will be resigning from her position in division 1 and will be put on suspension/leave. All available captains are to report for the ceremony at the east gate immediately. Others may attend as well," he said.

"That's right, I have to sacrifice something," I thought.

Resignation was usually a sign of shame considering this ceremony has not been performed in 200 years.

I placed my brush down and walked out of the large office.

When I reached the east gate, there was already a huge crowd.

"Amane-chan, are you sure about this?" Hinamori asked in a pleading way. "You know the way back will be exceedingly difficult."

"She knows that! What ever you choose to do, we'll support you. We'll miss you so much. Be safe and good luck," Kira said as a huge mob gathered around me, the once genius turning rouge shinigami.

Sasakibe fukutaichou cleared his throat and everyone moved to the sides to clear a pathway.

Everyone in the audience saw the present 12 captains. The only one not there was Soifon because some say she was too emotionally unstable. I couldn't blame her for that.

I walked forward feeling numb as usual, until I stood before the semi-circle of reiatsu radiating captains.

I knelt and bowed 13 times for each of the captains.

I watched as the sacred fire was brought to me in a cauldron.

Everyone watched me intently.

I had already decided at what I was going to do.

I placed my hand over the handle of Natsuhikari. And as usual, I felt the flames erupt around my hand, but I held tight.

Slowly, I pulled him from his sheath and brought him behind my neck. With my other hand, I grasped all of my hair in a fist.

In a swift motion, I cut my once waist long hair to barely shoulder length.

I held my black locks in front of me and slowly dropped them little by little into the hungry fire.

I watched blankly as the last strand fell from my hand only to sizzle and disappear into ashes. I sheathed Natsuhikari and the flames around my hand slowly retreated.

The stench of burnt flesh reached the noses of all of the spectators.

"You are officially dismissed from your shinigami duties, but remember, that does not include your civil duties. Since you aren't being kicked out for a sin, you may still come back one day, but it will be very difficult to do so," Yamamoto Sotaichou-sama said.

"I understand, thank you very much," I whispered bowing slightly again before exiting through the east gate.

Outside the gate, I tied my hair that was hanging loose, into a ponytail and then put it into a bun.

Still, I didn't look back.

"Goodbye, all of my friends," I whispered as the east gate dropped and closed.

I looked at the position of the sun and decided that if I hurried, I might be able to leave reach the end of Rukongai in about 3 days.

And that I did

When I finally found a quiet, dark, and desolate forest in the 80th district of Rukongai, I was weak and exhausted.

"Hitsugaya-san should have woken up 2 days ago," I thought.

I found a small clearing with all the fundamental necessities of living near by.

And thus, my hellish training began.

I said I would begin a new, and I did. I left everything of my former life up to this time behind and focused myself on training to become stronger, and to avenge my aniki.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I only own Amane and all of her story

Simple Desires: The Beginning

Chapter 19

* * *

Toushiro awoke the next day with pain in the back of his neck.

He immediately remembered what had happened, making him bolt upright, only to find that she was no where to be seen.

He saw that Natsuhikari was not on the wall where he had placed it and that his note was lying askew. He saw a piece of paper, or rather a few sheets of paper tied together on his originally empty desk. He threw the covers off of himself and stood up pulling on the black outer kimono that hung on a hook.

He walked over to the desk and untied the small string that held the letter together.

It took him a while to read, but at the moment he finished, he dropped it, as if it were hot coals instead of mere paper and ink.

He couldn't believe it.

He couldn't understand it either.

His eyes darted across the words again. It was no doubt her handwriting, but still he did not understand.

He snatched Hyorinmaru from his place on the wall and ran out of his room, not bothering to lock the door.

He sprinted towards his destination, not letting anything distract him from reaching it.

_To my beloved friend Toushiro,_

_If you are reading this letter, I am probably now long gone. I have resolved to resign from my role as a shinigami temporarily, thus leaving the Seireitei. Aniki's death has awakened something in me. I realized for the very first time, that I have not worked hard enough to deserve the life I currently live. Thus, I am starting anew in a far away place._

_No matter what you or other people say, I know that it was my fault that aniki died. You said so yourself once, that my skills were getting dull and I was getting weak. At that time, I didn't admit or recognize that you were correct. It's true that you were getting stronger, but I lacked resolve and thus grew weaker. I was born with an enormous amount of potential and with it, I was able to survive all those years in the Rukongai. _

_Yet, at the very first taste, no, at the very whiff of luxury, I began slacking off. I was lazy and my resolve slowly dissolved into nothingness. Because of such a foolish and preventable mistake, I am left with no family. _

_Toushiro, I killed my own aniki, who raised me on his own since I was very young. I killed your rival that kept you motivated and on the track to improvement. I killed Soifon-nee, no, I can't call her my sister, Soifon taichou's love and husband along with her happiness._

_Can't you see, Toushiro-kun? I've crushed the happiness and lives of so many people. Still don't believe me? I'll give you another example. Do you still remember the information sheets they handed out about Hollow #AC9B312 that my brother was killed by? I never read it. It's probably why I fell so easily into his trap. Aniki had to save me because I was careless. _

_I've never felt so worthless in my entire life, Toushiro-kun. I couldn't do anything worthwhile at all. I was paralyzed with fear. I can't face Soifon taichou, Yamamoto Sotaichou, you, or any of the rest of our friends. I don't want you to ever feel the same pain. I don't believe the scars will ever soften nor the burdens ever lift. I've thought of many options including suicide, but I was too cowardly to do it. I'm too afraid of everything in the world now. _

_Therefore, I want you to continue on without me to cheer you on or aniki to compete with you. I want you to achieve your highest goals, become the youngest shinigami to ever be a captain. Be the strongest you can be, build the strongest division you can handle. Form your resolve and don't let go of it. With it, you can make your dreams come true, as I wasn't able to do. But most importantly, just be happy._

_After experiencing failure once, I learned that I never want to feel that horrifying feeling ever again. I don't want you to either Toshiro-kun. I'm leaving to get stronger so I will never fail again. It's because I care, that I'm writing this letter you. It's because you are special to me, that I will not leave a letter like this to anybody but you. I'm sorry, for knocking you out. I know you would nave never let me leave. Call me rash, but I can't live under these conditions in Seireitei. _

_These five and a half short years I have known you, have been absolutely amazing. I don't think I could ever forget you Toushiro-kun. From the first day of class when I threw the book at you to the last moment we spent together right before I knocked you out. All of the memories are precious to me. Each of your caring words are and will be my only salvation in these upcoming dark years of my life. _

_Every one of our happy, sad, angry, fun, and serious moments we've shared are like glimpses of spring in my eternal winter. In a way, during my moments of clarity when I was not engulfed by pure pain, I did not want to leave. I really don't want to leave you Toushiro-kun, because you are all that's left of my crumbling past. But I know that this is not how my destiny was written. _

_One day hopefully, we will see each again. But by then, I will have become a different person, a stronger person. So no one in my life will ever again suffer the same fate aniki did. So, until we meet again, Toushiro-kun._

_Love,_

_Rinaiko Amane_

He saw his destination approaching and immediately appeared in front of it. Toushiro threw open the oak and rice paper doors.

_Gone_

There wasn't a trace of her existence left in the bare room.

He walked towards her bed, where the bed sheets lay neat and unwrinkled.

He sat down and picked up a fist full of sheets. He slowly brought it up to his nose and breathed in the scent of lilacs and honey.

It was definitely Amane's favorite perfume.

She had worn it all the time without fail.

He closed his eyes, refusing to let the pain show through them.

He brought his clenched fist up to the bridge of his nose and rested it amongst the bed sheets that wove in between his fingers.

He took deep breaths, laboring to hide the tightening and twisting pain that buried itself at the base of his throat, burned his eyes with tears to come, and constricted around his heart and lungs. It pulled, causing pain in the muscles around his jaw and lips, for his teeth could not be clenched tighter nor his frown deeper.


	20. Chapter 20 Finale

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I only own Amane and all of her story

Simple Desires: The Beginning

Finale

Chapter 20

* * *

"Um, 3rd seat Hitsugaya-san? I need to clean the room and get it ready for the next inhabitant," another shinigami from the same division as he but of an unseated rank said. Slowly, he nodded, knowing that there was no other way, and that his voice would probably fail him.

He figured, since breathing was difficult, speaking would be unheard of. He stood up and reluctantly and let go off the bed sheets. The other shinigami walked in and began his cleaning duties.

"Um," he muttered slightly horse.

"Yes?" the shinigami said.

"If it would not be too much trouble, I'd like you to bring those bed sheets to my room instead of placing them in the wash," Toushiro said in a raspy voice.

The shinigami had a confused demeanor at first, but as soon as his eyes recognized the look on Toshiro's face, he immediately understood.

"I got it," he said bowing slightly as Toshiro left the room, trailing his fingers along the door frames one last time.

He knew exactly why he felt this way, and he wasn't afraid to admit it; though the only thing that kept him from doing so, was the fact that it was already too late.

It was too late to admit.

What good would it do know?

He wanted so badly to either turn back time, or slap himself.

He detoured from his original route home, to the markets.

People who passed could notice the grim expression on his face, but nothing else. He concealed all of his other emotions particularly well.

He found what he was looking for and entered one of the many stalls that lined that particular alley of the market.

"Oh! How can I help you sir?" the shopkeeper asked, obviously not accustomed to seeing a male at her stall.

"I'm looking for lilac and honey perfume," he said ignoring the surprise in the woman's voice.

"Right away," she said turning to find the bottle while he waited patiently.

"For a loved one perhaps?" the woman asked.

"Yeah," he sighed. There was no need to specify what he was going to do with the perfume.

"Here you go," she said handing him the cylindrical glass vial to him. He took it from her hands.

He stared at it for a while, recognizing the patterns of lilacs and honey combs.

"Is it the wrong one?" the shop keeper asked quickly.

"No, it's perfect," Toshiro replied placing money on the counter.

"Er, please come again," the shop keeper said surprised that he had placed triple the original amount.

It wasn't that he had counted wrong, nor was it that he had tipped the lady.

He simply felt that if Amane had like it, it was exceptionally valuable to him.

He walked home, rolling the small 2 oz. tube in his palm.

When he reached his room, he found a set of neatly folded bed sheets on his table.

For a moment, he trailed his hand over it.

It was like all other fabrics used for bedding in Seireitei, but the fact that they had belonged to Amane made them special to him.

He pulled a chair up to the highest bookcase in his room, and took a small hidden cabinet off of the top shelf.

It wasn't big, having only a length and height of 3 feet, and a width of 1.5 feet. But it was an heirloom from his grandma in Rukongai whom had received it from her "family".

It was made of a beautiful cherry red wood with fine patterns and pictured engraved in it.

He had never thought it would actually be useful, considering he had not wanted it when the oba-san that had raised him gave it to him.

He put the neatly folded covers on the bottom of the 2 shelves, filling it up all the way. He then placed the decorated vial and several other items on the top shelf.

He put the only picture he had of her, since she was generally camera shy, along with the frame it came in on the top shelf as well.

Some call it an alter, but she was not dead.

So, until she returned, it would serve as something to constantly remind him of her.

He gathered the letter from the resting place on the ground.

He scanned it once more before placing it in the cabinet.

"I still don't understand," he murmured holding the doors of the cabinet.

"Why did you have to leave me? Why didn't you let me save you?" he whispered as odd things gathered in his eyes

He furiously blinked them away.

He closed the door and locked it, placing the cabinet in an easily seen but safe place.

He tucked the keys to the cabinet in a special pocket, within the folds of his shihakushou, that was directly above his left chest.

"Always near my heart."

_What I don't understand is why._

_Why did you leave me?_

_But more over, _

_Why didn't you take me with you?_

_I thought that,_

_If we were together_

_And if you would let me,_

_I would be able to heal you._

_Slowly but surely, I would._

_Then we could both start fresh._

_And then we'd be together forever._

_Just you and me forever my love,_

_Amane_

Owari-End

* * *

Author's Notes: I've finally re-uploaded and edited this story a little. I took out most of the little japanese phrases I inserted here and there before. This piece is the only piece that I have ever been able to complete. Reading it made me reflect on my writing style from years before. The chapters I used to write are a lot shorter, probably about half of what I write now and the structure is all strange. I blame quizilla. :) Looking back, the japanese phrases were really unnecessary and more of an obstruction to the understanding of my readers. Simple Desires was really a piece from my heart. While I read it, parts of it seemed really naive, overblown, marysue-ish, and hormonal. Basically, it reflected my naivety as a writer and my novice abilities. I tried to edit out some of that, yet I couldn't edit out much because some of it was necessary. Other parts, really seemed profound to me. I suppose there were a few lines in the story that really stuck out to me which gave me a better opinion of what I wrote before because those lines reflected maturity. This was the first piece I ever completed, and I believe that I have a ways to go up from here. Please enjoy the sequel, Undefined and Uncontrolled: Scroll 2 which I will be attempting to reupload at some point. In the mean time, please enjoy Honouku no Ai, my other bleach story about Ulquiorra and Asako(OC). Hounouku no Ai is also a piece that I have been wanting to write for a long time. Simple Desires explores the emotions of loss and sadness and notes on how the most common mistakes can make a most devastating impact on their lives. There is a little fluffy romance in it, but not much. Honouku no Ai is a piece that explores the depths of timeless romance and how love and hate have no boundaries between each other. It is much more difficult for me to write, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyways. Anyways, so long for now.

Love,

-Aisumi


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